Stuck

They say there are seven stages of grief: Shock or Disbelief, Denial, Bargaining, Guilt, Anger, Depression, Acceptance and Hope. Some people pass through these stages with relative ease, but others not so much. Shock, Denial, and Bargaining go quickly for most; it's the last for that some people get hung up on. I'm one of those people I was guilty for the longest time after Travis died, I kept thinking maybe if I was in that car I could have somehow kept him alive. Ever since I've been stuck between anger and depression. I haven't been full out depressed or completely angry but a mixture of the two. I think the reason I haven't been able to move past is because I never really grieved. I cried yes, but not for long. I felt the need to hold it together for the people around me and for his family. I've never been the type to cry where people could see me or hear me. So instead of sobbing I held everything in. Instead of talking about it I just thought it better I kept it to myself. Now, though I'm beginning to talk about it, and feeling the need to talk about it and him. I'm beginning to let myself really grieve for Travis.